I was walking the dog in the park a few weeks ago, and I saw a family having a sad little moment in the parking lot. It became clear that the issue was the dad (or I assume) was leaving in a different car and the mom and two kids in another. People-watching from yards away, I could have the wrong scenario. It might have been the dad was just going somewhere else and would meet the family later, but I think it was a divorce or separated situation.
There was not a lot of eye contact between the adults; the older child quietly got in the car, and the younger boy (maybe 5-6) was crying and wailing. Again, I could be making false assumptions, but the crying was that sort of dry, over-emphasized diaphragmatic cry that kids do when they are upset but want to be MORE upset. And it worked to some extent, he got attention and hugs; the dad came back from his truck to say goodbye twice. The mom looked upset and I could envision McFlurries in their future. At a very tender age, this child learned how to use guilt as an effective weapon.
How old were you when you realized you could manipulate those around you -- maybe not all the time and maybe not exactly how you hoped -- but you can at least mix things up a bit. Kids do it with crocodile tears and siren wails; adults do it with distant stares, sudden outbursts, crypic accusations, or terse monosyllabic replies.
Why do we do it? Well, it works. If it didn't work, we wouldn't do it.
And as with most bad habits, we have casual users and chronic abusers. All things in moderation, as the saying goes. When does emotional blackmail become a problem? Maybe when it's your only tool? Or at least a tool you use so often its handle has become smooth and worn...
This is more than human nature --- cats and dogs do it too. We've all seen the baleful stare from man's best friend...a little drool and hot breath, and suddenly Fido has a bone. Have you awakened at 4am to the cat who is able walk across cotton candy without leaving footprints, but suddenly knocks every bottle off the vanity to remind you she's hungry?
Animals (4-legged or 2-legged) know how to get your attention...even if it doesn't always get us what we want.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
How Now Dow Jow...er Jones
I'm confused about the fascination with the Dow Jones Index on the nightly news and water cooler conversations. It's a barometer of sorts, sure. But it's hardly the most representative. And while currently it sucks and the economy sucks (sorry, technical terms, stay with me)...it's not like the DJI causes economic problems or necessarily reflects them.
I'm not trying to say everything is peachy - every indicator is in a bad place right now. But why does DJI have a choke hold on our national psyche? Especially considering the fact that many of the people who rattle off the "number at the bell" don't really have much in the stock market anyway. If the average net worth in this country is negative (i.e., families owe more than they own)...then the DJI's trajectory is interesting, but not that compelling, eh?
I own mutual funds, and I've watched them shrink dramatically -- but I still plan to continue buying. "Buy low" right? Beats the alternative: locking in those losses.
There's two polar opposite outcomes here...first, the whole thing collapses into a pile of ruble in which case my portfolio, whether in a stock or cash position, will be as useful as Confederate bonds. OR, and I admit I think this more likely, there's a recovery somewhere down the path, in which case, staying in is the right choice.
But I digress...my really point of this was WHY is the DJI the touchstone? Just because it's quick and easy? People think they understand it (though I imagine very few do).... I dunno, it just seems weird to me that in a 180 min news update, the DJI numbers get spat out as if they had great impact on our daily lives. Or maybe I'm missing something....
I'm not trying to say everything is peachy - every indicator is in a bad place right now. But why does DJI have a choke hold on our national psyche? Especially considering the fact that many of the people who rattle off the "number at the bell" don't really have much in the stock market anyway. If the average net worth in this country is negative (i.e., families owe more than they own)...then the DJI's trajectory is interesting, but not that compelling, eh?
I own mutual funds, and I've watched them shrink dramatically -- but I still plan to continue buying. "Buy low" right? Beats the alternative: locking in those losses.
There's two polar opposite outcomes here...first, the whole thing collapses into a pile of ruble in which case my portfolio, whether in a stock or cash position, will be as useful as Confederate bonds. OR, and I admit I think this more likely, there's a recovery somewhere down the path, in which case, staying in is the right choice.
But I digress...my really point of this was WHY is the DJI the touchstone? Just because it's quick and easy? People think they understand it (though I imagine very few do).... I dunno, it just seems weird to me that in a 180 min news update, the DJI numbers get spat out as if they had great impact on our daily lives. Or maybe I'm missing something....
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Big Box of Apathy
So, yeah, the economy is crashing around our ears and consumer confidence is lower than ever. Wouldn't ya think that retailers would rally their troops - get their front line employees (oh, pardon me: associates) to wake up and start treating active customers better? Wouldn't you take a moment to explain that the consumer who actually drives to their charming concrete haven has a lot of choices and should be given, if not respect, at least eye contact?
I visited 3 large retailers today, looking for electronics item that can cost $70-300. In none of these locations was I offered any help as I shifted from foot to foot comparing the options. And in all 3 of these retailers, the out-of-stock in this category was about 60%. So even if I was able to discern my choice from the cryptic shelf "talkers" (ha!), there was a good probability the one I wanted was not available.
I've been involved in some form of retail for more than 20 years. I get out-of-stocks. I get the challenge of conveying a message from the ivory tower down to the front lanes. I get the balance required to offer assistance to those who want it without being overly cloying to those who are "just browsing, thanks." I get it. Really.
But I also get that there is a bloodbath happening as we speak in retail. Too many stores, too much inventory, and too many employees who don't give a flying fig what I want, if I can find it, or if I'm happy with my shopping "experience."
What would it take? Here's a couple suggestions:
1. Demand that the floor associates to make eye contact.
Target recently initiated a policy (or at least the stores in my area seem to have) where every time an employee crosses paths with a shopper he or she looks them in eye and asks, "Can I help you find something." 99% of the time, my answer is no, but this is a huge improvement over chasing down the retreating back of a red shirt as it rushed on some internally critical task. At the very worst of the Big Box retailers I visited today, not only did I not get eye contact, when I finally found a person, he took out his walkie-talkie to have in internal discussion with another employee. Maybe he was in the middle of helping another customer, I give you that possibility -- but he neither acknowledged me or suggested that he'd be available to help in a moment. In fact he simply walked away.
2. Insist that the floor associates to stop talking to each other.
This one kills me. One store brand seems particularly bad at this -- and their associates hover around endcaps like 1950's steno gals around the water cooler. Asking them for help results in blistering sighs and eye rolls---as if you had to interrupt the cool kids after gym class to get to your locker back in 7th grade. I'm glad they enjoy their co-workers' company...but if they don't wake up to the fact that the SHOPPER PAYS THEIR SALARY, they are going to enjoy standing in the unemployment line when their company closes down.
3. Empower the greeter to identify frustrations ...and solve
Several retailers have people sitting or standing at the front door -- ostensibly to greet the shopper, but also as a line of defense, I imagine, on shoplifting. In one of my frustrating visits, I caught the greeter's eye and said "sure would have been nice to get some help in here." She replied, sarcastically, "have a nice day." The stores are big and the floor personnel is spread thin. It's certainly possible to not cross paths with someone during your stroll thru the aisles---but, why couldn't the "greeter" have served me with her little walkie-talkie, saying "I'm sorry, let me get you someone to help." Why? because she didn't care.
You can blame the economy all you want. Life sucks, yadda yadda. But here are people who have jobs. Here is a consumer with cash in her pocket wanting to buy an item, and willing to upsold if someone can explain the difference between the $70 and $300 version. You'd think it would be a match made in heaven. But no. I wasted gas driving to several places and ultimately bought the cheapest version that was in-stock at Big Box #3.
Yup, these are the time that try men's souls. These are also the times that can make a retailer stand out, if they take the time to give true direction to their front line representatives. And, Mr. or Ms. Retailer, if you discover your current employees really don't care -- go hire new ones.
We are reminded daily in the media: It's a buyer's market on hiring. So why aren't you hiring people who want to be there and want to help?
I visited 3 large retailers today, looking for electronics item that can cost $70-300. In none of these locations was I offered any help as I shifted from foot to foot comparing the options. And in all 3 of these retailers, the out-of-stock in this category was about 60%. So even if I was able to discern my choice from the cryptic shelf "talkers" (ha!), there was a good probability the one I wanted was not available.
I've been involved in some form of retail for more than 20 years. I get out-of-stocks. I get the challenge of conveying a message from the ivory tower down to the front lanes. I get the balance required to offer assistance to those who want it without being overly cloying to those who are "just browsing, thanks." I get it. Really.
But I also get that there is a bloodbath happening as we speak in retail. Too many stores, too much inventory, and too many employees who don't give a flying fig what I want, if I can find it, or if I'm happy with my shopping "experience."
What would it take? Here's a couple suggestions:
1. Demand that the floor associates to make eye contact.
Target recently initiated a policy (or at least the stores in my area seem to have) where every time an employee crosses paths with a shopper he or she looks them in eye and asks, "Can I help you find something." 99% of the time, my answer is no, but this is a huge improvement over chasing down the retreating back of a red shirt as it rushed on some internally critical task. At the very worst of the Big Box retailers I visited today, not only did I not get eye contact, when I finally found a person, he took out his walkie-talkie to have in internal discussion with another employee. Maybe he was in the middle of helping another customer, I give you that possibility -- but he neither acknowledged me or suggested that he'd be available to help in a moment. In fact he simply walked away.
2. Insist that the floor associates to stop talking to each other.
This one kills me. One store brand seems particularly bad at this -- and their associates hover around endcaps like 1950's steno gals around the water cooler. Asking them for help results in blistering sighs and eye rolls---as if you had to interrupt the cool kids after gym class to get to your locker back in 7th grade. I'm glad they enjoy their co-workers' company...but if they don't wake up to the fact that the SHOPPER PAYS THEIR SALARY, they are going to enjoy standing in the unemployment line when their company closes down.
3. Empower the greeter to identify frustrations ...and solve
Several retailers have people sitting or standing at the front door -- ostensibly to greet the shopper, but also as a line of defense, I imagine, on shoplifting. In one of my frustrating visits, I caught the greeter's eye and said "sure would have been nice to get some help in here." She replied, sarcastically, "have a nice day." The stores are big and the floor personnel is spread thin. It's certainly possible to not cross paths with someone during your stroll thru the aisles---but, why couldn't the "greeter" have served me with her little walkie-talkie, saying "I'm sorry, let me get you someone to help." Why? because she didn't care.
You can blame the economy all you want. Life sucks, yadda yadda. But here are people who have jobs. Here is a consumer with cash in her pocket wanting to buy an item, and willing to upsold if someone can explain the difference between the $70 and $300 version. You'd think it would be a match made in heaven. But no. I wasted gas driving to several places and ultimately bought the cheapest version that was in-stock at Big Box #3.
Yup, these are the time that try men's souls. These are also the times that can make a retailer stand out, if they take the time to give true direction to their front line representatives. And, Mr. or Ms. Retailer, if you discover your current employees really don't care -- go hire new ones.
We are reminded daily in the media: It's a buyer's market on hiring. So why aren't you hiring people who want to be there and want to help?
Thursday, January 22, 2009
We Rig the Game Ourselves
Today I was reading a editorial on YAHOO! Finance called "Putting an End to Magical Thinking" by Laura Rowley. It's an interesting essay, and I like the point it makes about the twisted American Dream ("Magical thinking can be defined as a perversion of traditional American optimism. Magical thinking is the can-do attitude without the do.")
You can read it here: http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/moneyhappy/136030
I agree that a scary sense of entitlement is one of the roots of the current economic woes. Both at the highest level of corporate America and in the most average Joe Schmoe. You can find it in people of all ages, races, education levels, and social strata. And, yes, it's exacerbated by reality TV shows were contests whine that they "deserve it because they want it so badly" -- as if your just deserts were correlated to your heart's desires.
Don't get me wrong. I grasp that we don't live in a meritocracy (as much as I wish we did). And who you know often trumps what you know. And people do get breaks (good and bad) along the way. At the same time....there is, IMHO, a huge correlation between effort and result. And the fact that someone may have won the lottery (literally or in terms of wealth, beauty, or intelligence) doesn't UNDO the fact that we each have our own lever in this world - our determination and perseverence.
The reason I started this rant is one of the responses that was posted to the YAHOO! essay. Someone's post included: "The game is rigged, and you will never be wealthy if you are at all honest and hard working."
That belief makes my soul ache.
Yes, the game is rigged, but not by "the man" or some power outside of us. This person has rigged his or her own game with a mindset that says "I am broke; therefore, I am honest." Hard-wire that into your brain, and you'll never be anything but broke.
I despise the oft heard "trusim" that anyone with money must have cheated, lied, or stealed to get it. Yes, some people did all those things, and I believe they will find a true reward for their behavior in the end (the very, very end).
On the other hand, many millions of people around the world have money because they worked, planned, saved, and made hard choices rather than using easy-credit to expedite an American Dream built on a rotten foundation.
The self-imposed, self-limiting beliefs we carry with us (some burnt in by our parents, some by culture/media, and some self-rationalizations we created ourselves)... these are the "truths" that stop us from using our innate talents, human creativity, and a dollop of discipine to create the life we want, rather than the life the Visa commercials tell us we deserve.
That's my two cents. And those two cents are in the bank earning a whopping 1.45% interest; does that make me evil?
You can read it here: http://finance.yahoo.com/expert/article/moneyhappy/136030
I agree that a scary sense of entitlement is one of the roots of the current economic woes. Both at the highest level of corporate America and in the most average Joe Schmoe. You can find it in people of all ages, races, education levels, and social strata. And, yes, it's exacerbated by reality TV shows were contests whine that they "deserve it because they want it so badly" -- as if your just deserts were correlated to your heart's desires.
Don't get me wrong. I grasp that we don't live in a meritocracy (as much as I wish we did). And who you know often trumps what you know. And people do get breaks (good and bad) along the way. At the same time....there is, IMHO, a huge correlation between effort and result. And the fact that someone may have won the lottery (literally or in terms of wealth, beauty, or intelligence) doesn't UNDO the fact that we each have our own lever in this world - our determination and perseverence.
The reason I started this rant is one of the responses that was posted to the YAHOO! essay. Someone's post included: "The game is rigged, and you will never be wealthy if you are at all honest and hard working."
That belief makes my soul ache.
Yes, the game is rigged, but not by "the man" or some power outside of us. This person has rigged his or her own game with a mindset that says "I am broke; therefore, I am honest." Hard-wire that into your brain, and you'll never be anything but broke.
I despise the oft heard "trusim" that anyone with money must have cheated, lied, or stealed to get it. Yes, some people did all those things, and I believe they will find a true reward for their behavior in the end (the very, very end).
On the other hand, many millions of people around the world have money because they worked, planned, saved, and made hard choices rather than using easy-credit to expedite an American Dream built on a rotten foundation.
The self-imposed, self-limiting beliefs we carry with us (some burnt in by our parents, some by culture/media, and some self-rationalizations we created ourselves)... these are the "truths" that stop us from using our innate talents, human creativity, and a dollop of discipine to create the life we want, rather than the life the Visa commercials tell us we deserve.
That's my two cents. And those two cents are in the bank earning a whopping 1.45% interest; does that make me evil?
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