But Please Don't Ask Me If I Liked the Book

I belong to a book club filled with thoughtful women who bring interesting insights to our lively discussions - which are sometimes even about the book!

The one thing I don't like about the group is the tendency to begin the discussion of the book with the question "Who liked the book?" I'm sure I've annoyed the other ladies by objecting to that question - many of them say that it's logical to start with a quick "poll" to see where the conversation is going to go.

I see the point. And I will often ask friends "didja like it?" when they mention of book, movie, or event. The question provides an opening to share opinions and a de facto recommendation if they did like it.

However, in the context of a book club --- a group designed to come together and talk about the book in a more critical and evaluative way --- the question of "liking" can get in the way. If most members liked (or LOVED) the book, it sets up an "us versus them" situation if few members felt differently. Sometimes, those in the majority have even uttered "you're crazy" if someone else dares to dissent with the majority.

I think a much better question would be "what did you like about the book" -- because even when a book does not thrill a reader, she should be able to isolate the elements (plot, pacing, fresh language, lyric rhythms, etc) that she DID like. And conversely, identifying what you did not like and why might lead to more interesting discussions than "ooh I loved the book."

I guess my point is this: saying "I liked it" or "I hated it" creates an ending rather than a beginning to the discussion. Having planted your flag firmly in like or dislike, are you open to changing that opinion?

On the other hand, if someone explains why they didn't like the treatment of a character, it might make sense to you. It might make you think about the book in a different way. If someone shares a story from her life that reinforces the author's point, it might make you forgive clunky prose for the larger truth.

We've all heard the advice: If you want better conversation, start with open-ended question. Asking "What was the strangest thing that happened this week" will initiate a much more interesting discussion with your child, for example, than asking "Did you have a good week?" (Answer: "Yup.")

To me "who liked the book?" is a closed-end question that encourages binary thinking. Something more open-ended will yield a livelier discussion.